Just For Fun
20 Anniversary Ideas That Aren’t Fucking Lame
Whether it’s 1 year or 50 years, anniversaries are bloody fucking special. You have bought a gorgeous bunch of flowers, maybe some jewellery? Depends how good a shag she is I guess?
You have at least bought a funny anniversary card! Written some hilarious expletives or a nice romantic poem (ya soppy ball bag) But how can you make that special day even more special?
Make your anniversary memorable, and not at all shite with these 20 anniversary ideas that aren’t fucking lame…
1) Theme Park.
Something a bit different, make sure you don’t eat too much crap and vom all over everyone on the rollercoasters… gross.
2) Wine Tasting.
Looking super sophisticated, learning all about your roses and reds and such, while also getting sloshed sounds fantastic! Don’t end up drinking too much and think it’s a great idea to have a shag in the toilets though. It will be frowned upon….
3) Go for a hike
A bit lame maybe but if you need to push them off a top of a mountain cause you’ve had enough of them, it’s always a great idea… Happy anniversary!
4) Hot Air Balloon Ride.
What could be more romantic than sipping champagne, flying over some fantastic views. Make sure the instructor knows what he’s doing and is fully qualified. You don’t want to end up stuck somewhere in the Himalayas having to resort to cannibalism to survive. I doubt any relationship could come back from that.
5) Roller Skating?
The secret is to practice and get really good so it will impress your date, and you can have a good laugh when they fall over their arse. Good times.
6) Painting
You can either go to a painting class, which is pretty boring. Or… you can paint each other on canvas to keep forever. Why not be each other’s nude models? But please remember … be kind. Make his shlong a bit bigger and her arse a bit smaller! A couple that paint together, stay together.
7) Tour de Food
Especially good if you like eating and drinking. This is where you order one very small item or starter from as many restaurants as possible until you are full. Similar to Tapas, but between each small meal, you switch restaurants. Make it even more fun by including drinks in the tour de food as well and get bladdered!
8) Go skinny dipping
Just don’t get caught…..
9) A day of 50 shades?
If you need this explained, just don’t fucking bother.
10) Couples Massages.
What could be more relaxing than a great bondage… oops I mean bonding session with your loved one. What about a beautiful chilled day at a spa? Mud baths, champagne in a jacuzzi…. And maybe a special couple massage. Just please don’t go asking for a happy ending….
11) Hire a stripper for each other.
Think this idea is for couples who really trust each other. Crazy anniversary times! Just a suggestion of course, so don’t complain to us when the missus runs off with a baby oil covered Derek.
12) Make a Family Tree
Why not look into your ancestry, an interesting topic and could give you a few laughs, surprises and really find out about each others’ ancestors. As long as you don’t find out you’re actually related…. Awks.
13) Enter a Run Together.
Why not sign up for a colour run or even a mud run. A chance to really get down and dirty… Literally!
14) Build a Fort
Use all the sheets in the house, make a nice cosy den you can hideaway in. And shag obviously, it’s your anniversary innit?!
15) Take up a surprising hobby
If you have a manly man, take him to a cake decorating class, or flower arranging class. If you have a girly girl who loves a bit of Taylor Swift, take her to a Slipknot concert. Hilarious…
16) Go to a museum..
Not a standard museum there’s plenty of weird and wonderful museums out there. For example a dog collar museum, a lawnmower museum. Or how about a penis museum??! Yeah thought so…
17) Drunken Twister
Crack open the dusty game box from the attic and get on it, cocktails or fizz, proper laughs there.
18) Truth or Dare
Could be a lot of fun finding out some dirty secrets about each other. Also good if you want to give your partner some ridiculous dares! Like washing the dishes or cleaning the toilet… mad
19) Rent a cabin in the woods.
Romantic, just make sure you don’t have any of those serial killers knocking about in the woods. We’ve all seen the fucking movies!
20) Buy your partner a copy of the Kama Sutra!
Spend the weekend working your way through the positions. Or just look at the piccies cause you’re old fat bastards and no way you can bend your legs like that.
Shop our full range of funny anniversary cards here
10 Benefits To Sleeping Naked
With all this hot weather I’m sure we are all sleeping in the buff anyway. But there are actually positive benefits of sleeping naked all year round.
If you’re wearing any sort of clothing in bed your body struggles to find the perfect temperature. Aging of the skin and many other side effects I think none of us would rather have.
You start sweating, and bacteria is multiplying, definitely not electrifying! So take a look at our very proper sciency list here and be ready to bin those jammies and big knickers cause we are definitely all about being unclothed… total pervs.
Disrobe, unclad, be free and let that pasty clammy skin breathe!
If you needed any more convincing take a look… Just remember, close your curtains for the love of jesus. No one wants to see your maracas!
Sleeping Nude Benefits
1. If you encounter any burglars they will be so shocked to see a naked person standing there in full birthday suit, saggy balls out, they are bound to do a runner/vomit on the spot (handy for DNA!) either way, they won’t come back! No burglar wants to wrestle with a naked person, no matter how big the TV is…
2. In this God awful fuck off hot weather sleeping naked obviously cools you down. Save money on any air conditioning you may have to invest in.
3. Lets the saggy tits breathe. What better feeling than taking your bra off letting the old knockers run free…
4. Easy access for a middle of the night shag fest. No need to fiddle about with PJ buttons or 6 layers of cotton tops, just easy access to a good old seeing to. And you get to see a good sexy bum, depending on whether your other half’s bum is decent or not I guess?
5. Farts have a quicker escape route… I would imagine….
6. And how much money you’d save not buying Pjs?! They’re so overrated! No need to wash them, sort them etc. Saves time and money, we all like an easier life. Plus a little less laundry is always a winner.
7. No more sweaty balls or fanny, good times…
8. Easy access for toileting. No more faffing with getting your pants down while your bladder is ready to explode. Just go sit and let it flow….ahh.
9. Keeps the kids out the room. No kids are gonna want to see your bits and bobs flopping out everywhere. So enjoy the peace!
10. Keeps your skin looking good. When you sleep naked your body will find the right temperature which will be better for your skin so you don’t look like a haggard old bag sooner.
So while you’re butt naked, dreaming of a sunny beach, drinking cocktails and swimming with the dolphins, your body will find
Laughter Is The Best Medicine
