You or someone you know has reached 30 years of marriage, a momentous milestone to be applauded and celebrated in the way we all know best, ridicule and bad taste humour. 

So come on down; whether it’s a funny happy 30-year anniversary to a partner, some 30-year anniversary quotes for a wife, or cheeky pearl wedding anniversary quotes for the hubby, we’ve got everything you need for all of your 30th year funny anniversary wishes.

After 30 years we’re still a perfect pair. A pair of oldies that is.

Mother of pearl! It’s our 30th anniversary!

Happy 30th anniversary, almost 11,000 days we’ve been at this.

Yay we’ve survived 30 years together! Let’s see if we can keep it up to 31.

Happy anniversary, try not to let there be tears as you remember we’ve been married for 30 long years.

A 30th anniversary is a time to party, unfortunately our hips can’t take it anymore.

Happy pearl anniversary to my gleaming jewel.

You’ve managed it 29 times but if you forget our 30th year anniversary I may have to kill you.

30 years of successfully doing this life thing together.

Happy 30-year anniversary to someone who doesn’t know how lucky they are to have been stuck with me for 3 decades.

Out of all the weirdo’s I could have been stuck with for 30 years I’m glad I ended up with you.

Happy 30 years of the power struggle that arises every time one of us has to take the bins out.

Happy 30-year anniversary to the bane of my existence.  

A 30-year marriage is basically just noticing that police and doctors are getting younger and having someone next to you to go ‘yes, they are aren’t they’.

30 years ago, I made the best decision of my life, that three tier vanilla cake went down a storm. Oh yeah, and I married you.

Good news! It’s our 30th Wedding Anniversary. Bad news, it means we’re old.

Happy 30th wedding anniversary to my favourite pair of pensioners.

Happy 30-year wedding anniversary, we’re one year closer to the ‘death us do part’ bit. 

Happy 30th wedding anniversary. You’d have gotten less for murder.

Your marriage is entering its 30’s, it now officially doesn’t go out a lot and can only handle one drink.

Our married life is finally turning into a proper adult, happy 30th anniversary.

Love is a feeling of deep affection, passion, and intimacy for another person. Or in our case it’s you not divorcing me when I do a colossal fart. Happy 30th year together.

30 years married is usually when we re-evaluate our life choices, so there’s a bit of concern there.

Happy anniversary darling, you can’t spell ‘thirty years of married bliss’ without Tit Yams.

30 years of marriage is the comfy slippers stage of life, 10 more years it’ll be the ‘old people’s home’ stage of life.

Happy 30th anniversary to my husband, I can’t believe 3 decades ago you looked at this mess and thought ‘yep, that’s who I’m spending the rest of my life with’.

The golden rule of a happy marriage, the wife is always right. It’s got me to 30 years so far. 

Happy 30 years together hubby, 3 decades of me being in the right and you being…you.

Happy 30th anniversary to my wife. Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend but this year it’s pearl so you’ll have to lump it. 

Happy 30 years together hubby, I don’t want to trade you in yet so you’re obviously doing something right.

30 years ago, I found the man who I was going to annoy for the rest of his life.

After 30 years of being married, my wife still tolerates me. I’m the luckiest man in the world.

Happy 30th wedding anniversary, having a husband is a bit like having recurring haemorrhoids. It’s a bloody pain in the arse but you soon get used to it.

Happy 30th anniversary to my wife from the husband of the person you love the most. 

Happy 3 decades of marriage to my husband. We’ve somehow managed to get through it without any attempted murder or psychological interventions. What a team!

Summary:

We hope this has sparked those creative juices when it comes to spicing up your 30th anniversary wishes. 

Mock, laugh at and offend your nearest and dearest on this most momentous of occasions. 

We have a fantastic selection of funny anniversary cards which can be found here (hint hint).