90 years on this earth is something to be celebrated (or mocked) so take up this task with our handy guide to funny 90th birthday wishes below.

Whether you’re after some 90th birthday jokes, insults or even a 90th birthday poem we will have something to satiate those birthday needs. 

Just make sure those funny birthday quotes are in a giant font, the recipient is getting on a bit after all!

Happy 90th Birthday, here’s hoping you can chew your birthday cake.

Happy 90th Birthday, you’re not getting old, just ‘going up in value’.

Happy 90th to a man who creaks more than the Tin man.

90 years old, it’s been at least 30 years now of people making fun of your age and long may it continue.

9 decades of being a grumpy old man. Have a very happy 90th.

Age 90 and you still haven’t grown up.

Your eighties are officially at an end.

Let’s party like it’s the nineties.  

Happy 90th Birthday Grandad, from your favourite grandchild.

Have a happy 90th birthday Grandma, stay as potty mouthed as you always have been.

You’ve been on this planet 9 decades and to be honest, you can tell.

90’s the new 40. Yes, let’s just say that.

Happy 90th Birthday to everyone’s favourite pensioner. 

To my golden oldie on your very special birthday.

Ten more years and it’s a letter from the King (potentially, he’s getting on a bit).

Happy 90th birthday, I can see 100 just over the horizon.

There is absolutely no argument now, you’re officially old.

Happy 90th! You don’t look 90, from a distance.

If you’re feeling old just look in the mirror, your eyesight probably won’t let you see the wrinkles anyway.

If we had a candle for every year of your life, your house would burn down. Happy 90th Birthday!

You’re not 90, just double 45.

Happy 90th Birthday you miserable old crone.

Happy 89 + 1 Birthday, I’m being careful what I say in case I incur your wrath.

Happy 90th Birthday. You’re 32,000 days old. Not that I’ve been counting.

Wishing you a very special 90th birthday, you’re my favourite vintage.

You’ve been around the sun 90 times. You’re now the age of 90 astronomical events.

Have a very happy 90th birthday, there are still a couple of things that are older than you, I just can’t think of what they are at the minute.  

Happy 90th to someone who rattles when they walk.  

Happy 90th Birthday, get the birthday cake and champagne IV drips at the ready.

Time to throw you a birthday bash, a quiet, respectful event befitting a very old person like yourself.

Happy 90th Birthday. Get your mobility scooter ready for a night on the tiles.

Happy 90th year of being a legend.

Happy 90th Birthday, this is the time of life you finally find out what the red cord does in the loo.

Happy 90 years of age to my favourite elderly mischief maker. 

Happy 90th Birthday, don’t worry, if you turn this card upside down you’re only 6.

Happy birthday to our 90-year-old vintage; sour, a little bit spicy, aged to perfection, goes well with bread.

It’s taken you 90 years to look this good but you’re finally there. Have a fabulous birthday!

Happy 90th birthday young lady, don’t forget to put your teeth in.

Happy Birthday old friend, it doesn’t seem fair, that you’re covered in wrinkles and thick grey hair. But keep your chin up and down lots of wine as we celebrate for the 90th time.

Here’s to a day filled with fun with everyone’s favourite nonagenarian.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I can’t believe you haven’t snuffed it yet. Can you?

You’ll wake up today, your back gives you grief, tired hips, lots of aches and a set of false teeth. But through all the jip and through all the pain, to all of us, you’re still just exactly the same. So, although you feel aged and a little bit sore, we’ve loved you for 90 years and we’ll love you for more.

Summary:

We hope those funny 90th birthday wishes will help in all your 90th birthday endeavours to brighten up the recipient's day as they reach this very special (and very high) milestone.