A brother can be a myriad of things, your best friend, your partner in crime, your constant companion, or the total unrelenting pain in your backside. 

However you choose to describe them, let it be known in a card to them on their birthday.  

We’ve compiled a list of funny brother birthday jokes for that exact purpose. 

Whether you’re after some funny birthday quotes for brother, big brother birthday wishes, little brother birthday wishes or just a plain old insult, we’ve got you covered when it comes to what to write to those sensational siblings.   

Happy birthday to a special brother, we were born together, we’ve grown up together and now we’re very old together. Isn’t it depressing?

Happy Birthday to the brother I’m least ashamed of.

I heard you fancied a laugh on your birthday so I’ve put a mirror in this card.

Happy birthday brother from the best gift our parents ever gave you.

It depresses me each day that there’s nothing I can do about you being my brother, here’s a card you nitwit.

They say a brother is for life, I’d rather cancel my membership.

Happy birthday sibling, sorry that you’re related to me, it can’t be easy being the inferior one.

Happy birthday bro, from your far superior sister.

Happy birthday brother, apparently your increase of age warrants a whole day where I can’t bully you. Doesn’t seem very fair.

Happy birthday to my beautiful, charming brother. (Yes I’m not normally this nice but you never know when I might need some bone marrow).

Happy big gay birthday to my big gay brother.

From one handsome brother to, well, a brother. Have a brilliant birthday.

Happy birthday from the greatest thing our parents produced.

We’ve shared a womb, we’ve shared a house, we’ve even shared a bedroom. So, I think it’s only fair that you share any money that’s in this card.

Happy Birthday from one bro to another, I think it’s very offensive that you were born on the same day as me.

I thought big brothers were supposed to be the sensible ones, turning this old doesn’t seem very sensible to me.

Brother it must be awful being as old as you. Have a relatively ‘easy on the hips’ day.

Happy birthday to my big brother, even though you’re old now, be safe in the knowledge that I’m still younger than you.

Happy birthday to my big brother, how does it feel to officially be old.

I was looking for a funny birthday joke for a big brother but there’s a real risk at your age you’ll pee yourself.

Happy birthday to someone who’s going to earn the title of big brother after all the cake you’re going to eat tonight.

A big brother as amazing as you deserves only the best on his special day. It’s a shame I was too lazy to get you anything.

Happy birthday big brother, I’m sorry there’s no cure for your affliction. Being an annoying pleb-head.

Happy birthday to my twin brother. You might only have been born 5 minutes after me but it still gives me the right to call you old.

Happy birthday big bro, I hope your birthday is as cool as you think you are.

Happy birthday to my big brother, you’re now too old for me to give you birthday bumps without serious risk of death.

I wish everyone had a big brother like you. Then they’d know the crap I have to put up with.

Happy birthday big brother, it’s a special day today so as a one off I can tell you I love you loads. Just don’t ever mention it again, it's seriously uncool.

Happy Birthday to my conundrum of a big brother, the one person who will both bully me and protect me from the bullies at the same time.

Happy birthday to my much, much older brother, what’s it like all the way up there?

A very annoying mischief maker is having a birthday. Have a mediocre day little bro.

Happy birthday little bro, here’s a bit of folded card, don’t say I never get you anything.

Happy birthday to twin number 2, I’m definitely number 1.

Happy birthday to the strange lump of flesh we thought was a genetic experiment for the first few years of his life.

One little brother, some wear and tear, in an alright condition, very annoying, farts a lot. Oh, sorry I thought this was the adoption form.

Is it your birthday today? Little brothers aren’t allowed them, sorry. No presents for you.

To my littlest brother on his birthday, I’m so proud of the boy you’ve become. Just don’t tell anybody we’re related.

Happy birthday little bro, to the biggest pain in the backside I’ve ever known.

Happy birthday to my younger brother, I’m so proud of the evil little devil you’ve become. I’ve taught you well.

I was your age once, already completed it, you’re not that special.

Happy birthday to my little brother. Not so little now, are we old-timer?

You’ve been a pain in my back all these years little brother and now it’s your turn for the back pain old man.

I’ve always wanted a funny younger brother, ah well. Can’t have it all. Happy birthday chump.

Happy birthday little bro from the good looking one.

Happy birthday to my little brother, and to think I only ever asked for a puppy.

Summary:

There we have it, proof that funny birthday quotes for a brother come in all shapes, sizes, and varying degrees of offensiveness. 

Feel free to take any brother birthday joke, younger brother birthday wishes or (deservingly offensive) big brother birthday wishes from the list above to ridicule, mock and make fun of that very special sibling. 

Also feel free to check out our utterly splendid range of funny birthday cards.