Life’s too short for long winded sentiment and verbal dross so I’ll keep it short and snappy. 

Spice up a birthday with these short funny birthday wishes below, whether you’re looking for funny short wishes for a birthday card, short friend birthday quotes, some funny short birthday cake quotes or even something random like a short funny 30th birthday message, we have you covered. 

Happy birthday mate! You’re as old as you look. Take that however you want.

Another year older, another year closer to death.

Violets are blue, roses are red, at your time of life I’m glad you’re not dead.

Glad you’re not dead. 

Have a great birthday you Donkey.

Happy belated birthday, you know I’m always fashionably late.

Standby for the birthday boy, I mean really standby he’s not as light on his feet these days.

Some say some people age like fine wine. It’s a shame you’ve chosen to go more ‘curdled milk’.

I regret I’ve just been informed of how old you are today. My deepest condolences.

Happy birthday young man, you’ve still got a few of those left until it turns into ‘old chap’. 

You’re turning how old? Wise up man. 

Don’t think of them as wrinkles, they’re just laugher lines. You must have been in absolute hysterics.

Happy birthday to my best friend. You scrub up well for an old tart. 

Happy birthday bestie. Best friends stick together, except with age. You’re definitely the old one.

Men come and go but best friends are forever. Remember that when you open this moneyless card.

Happy birthday best friend. You’re no spring chicken anymore.

Happy birthday you swine.

It’s your birthday today. Go nuts!

Happy birthday, I didn’t get you anything. 

Happy belated birthday. It was the postman’s fault.

Nothing says have a special day like a folded piece of card.

Happy birthday. That’s it. I can’t think of anything nice to say.

Just a short message to wish you a happy birthday. There it was. 

If there’s no money in this card it’s because of the birthday fairies.

I hope your birthday is gayer than a bunch of hunks riding unicorns belting out Tina Turner. 

Happy big gay birthday you big birthday gay.

Happy birthday boyfriend. Here’s to not killing each other yet.

Happy birthday to a special girlfriend. Thanks for putting up with me.

This time today, many moons ago you were being squeezed out of your mom.

No, today doesn’t give you a free pass for Dad jokes. 

Happy birthday Sis, the biggest diva I know.

Happy birthday bro. You’re not that special.

Take this card as a token of my love and low bank balance. 

I’m a big enough gift for any birthday. Translation: The bills have gone up so I didn’t get you anything.

Happy birthday. I adore you. Just not enough to put a tenner inside this card. 

Happy birthday lovely lady, I was so mesmerised by your beauty I forgot to buy you anything. (Has that worked?) 

Handsome face, rippling abs, all of the men and women chasing you? You didn’t need a birthday present from me as well.

Happy birthday to a special somebody. Well… somebody at least.

Happy birthday chap! Don’t forget the old rust check to make sure all your parts are still working. 

Have an amazing birthday, I’ll keep this short and snappy. Like your false teeth. 

Happy 18th birthday. If you were Harry Potter a bald man would have tried to kill you at least 5 times by now.

Happy 21st to someone who I can’t believe is classed as an adult.

Here’s a short funny 30th birthday wish for a short funny 30-year-old.

Happy 50th Birthday, you’re an old fogey now.

This cake’s not big enough for the amount of candles you’re going to need.

Happy birthday! Don’t eat me all at once you greedy animal.

This whole cake isn’t for you, put those eyes back in your head.

Eat the whole cake and you win a prize. Old age.

Make a wish, eat cake, be sick. Happy birthday.

Summary:

There we go, over 50 different short ways to say Happy Birthday (52 to be exact, I’m exaggerating for dramatic effect). 

Whatever the occasion, whoever the person, whether for a cake, a card or face to face, we’ve got a funny short birthday message for their special day.